How to Talk to Anyone Summary: Best Communication book

How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

How to Talk to Anyone teaches you the art of human communication, starting from when you meet someone from eating dinner together, it has 92 actionable tips that will make you a master of communication.

So let’s talk about 10 Communication techniques from the book which you can use in your life.

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How to Talk to Anyone Summary

The book is divided into 7 parts and in total it has 92 chapters each chapter has unique communication skills which will make your life easier.

  • PART 1: You only have ten seconds to show you’re somebody
  • PART 2: What Do I Say After I say “Hello”?
  • PART 3: How to talk like the big boys ‘n’ girls
  • PART 4: How to Be an Insider in any crowd
  • PART 5: Why We’re just alike!
  • PART 6: The power of praise, the folly of flattery
  • PART 7: Direct dial their hearts

Talking about myself, I didn’t learn a lot from this book because I had already read How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, so I felt there was a lot of repetition in How to Talk to Anyone nevertheless, this could the good book for someone who wanted to become the good Communicator.

Now let’s jump into the Communication techniques…

1. The Flooding Smile

Let’s say, you meet a person on street, and let’s call him, Rohit.

You said, hi Rohit with a big smile, no matter what Rohit says, you come up with a big smile, after some time, Rohit might feel that you’re not interested because without any reason you’re smiling at him, so after some time, he will say, nice to meet you, see you later.

In short, don’t smile immediately, wait for a second, and give a warm, responsive smile.

A recent study shows that women who were slower to smile in corporate life were perceived as more credible.

How to Smile?

Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary Instead,

  • look at the other person’s face for a second.
  • Pause. Soak in their persona.
  • Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes.
  • The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.

2. Sticky Eyes

This will play a huge role and will decide whether you’re interested in someone’s conversation or not.

Let’s bring Rohit back,

You’re talking to Rohit about Friends TV Show, you love that show, you’re telling him every single detail about the six characters but Rohit is like, ahh, he looking at someone else or doing his own things.

Now let me know, how you will feel.

You might feel that Rohit doesn’t like Friends or he is not interested in me.

So don’t be like Rohit when you’re listening to someone.

Don’t break eye contact even after he or she has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching until the tiny string finally breaks.

I mean, don’t just stare at someone, he or she might feel threatened.

What about men’s eyes?

When talking to men, you, too, can use Sticky Eyes Just make them a little less sticky when discussing personal matters with other men

3. Epoxy Eyes

Epoxy Eyes means you’re staring at someone, not taking your eyes from him or her.

This is the best technique when you’re talking with the person you like, it could be your Girlfriend, Wife, or the person you wanted to admit your love.

Don’t use this technique on a random person as he or she might slap you on your face.

Now the author has shared some cheesy lines,

Like, when you’re looking at someone and she says, why you’re looking at me then you can reply with “I can’t take my eyes off you” or “I only have eyes for you”.

Keep in mind, that these lines will only work on the person you know, don’t just say it to a random person, it might sound crazy to them.

4. Hang By Your Teeth

You might have heard this from your mother, she might have said, son, stand up straight…

You now have all the basics that an artist needs to portray you as a Big Winner. Like ‘great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze.’ The ideal image for somebody who’s a Somebody.

Don’t lose yourself when you’re talking to someone, stand up straight, and pay your full attention to the other person.

5. Hello Old Friend

When you meet a random person,

Play a mental trick on yourself. In your mind’s eye, see him or her as an old friend, someone you had a wonderful relationship with years ago. But somehow you lost track of your friend.

You tried so hard to find your good buddy, but there was no listing in the phone book. No information online. None of your mutual friends had a clue. Suddenly, WOW! What a surprise! After all those years, the two of you are reunited.

You are so happy. That’s where the pretending stops. Obviously, you are not going to try to convince New Person that the two of you are really old friends.

You are not going to hug and kiss and say, ‘Great to see you again! or ‘How have you been all these years’ You merely say. Hello,” “How do you do, I am pleased to meet you. But, inside, it’s a very different story.

6. The Mood Match

Before opening your mouth, take a ‘voice sample of your listener to detect his or her state of mind.

Take a ‘psychic photograph of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed.

If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.

If the person you’re meeting has high energy then match that energy, if the person you’re meeting has calm energy then talk to him or her slowly.

7. Never The Naked City

Have you ever felt that the person you’re meeting and you don’t have common things to talk about?

You meet Rohit Again,

He asks you “where are you from”?

You replied “I’m From Ahmedabad”

Now, Rohit is just waiting for you to say more and you’re waiting for Rohit to say something and that was the movement where, Rohit will say, ohh great, I will see you later.

The moral of the story is don’t be like Rohit…

After a day, you again meet Rohit,

This time, you asked him, “where are you from”?

He replied “I’m From Surat”

You replied ” oh, surat, it’s a beautiful city, I’ve been there a few times”

Now, he replied, yes, it’s my hometown… and the conversation will go on…

What I’m saying is, don’t just stop there when someone gives the answer, throw something about it and the conversation will go on…

8. Never the Naked Introduction

Let’s bring Rohit back,

On Sunday, you meet Rohit but this time, he was not alone, he begins his friend Mahesh with him.

You and Rohit started talking and after some time, Rohit says, meet my Friend Mahesh and you will be like, hi Mahesh, nice to meet you.

Again, don’t be like Rohit but why? wait for a second…

On Monday you show Rohit was running in the garden and you went up to him to say hi but this you’re not alone, you’re with your Friends Rahul…

You Introduce Rahul to Rohit by saying, he makes YouTube Videos and he is a fantastic writer too.

Now, Rohit started talking to Rahul asking about, what’s Your YouTube Channel name and what you write about…

So be you…

9. Be a Word Detective

If you’re a good listener then you won’t find it hard to talk to anyone.

When you’re listening to someone, just pay full attention and see what he or she Is talking about and catch the keywords,

The Rohit is talking about, “I was watching BookiesTalk Videos yesterday, he was recommending must-read books”

You will reply, ohh yes, I know him, Rahul, right?

Rohit replies, yes, Rahul, he makes YouTube Videos as well as Writes articles on his website too.

All in all, catch the keyword from the conversation and just throw the words.

10. Your Personal Tresaures

You have to have 10 or 15 words to compliment someone, this will show your interest.

‘Oh, that was so clever of you.’

‘My how resourceful.

‘That was ingenious Or maybe, ‘How astute of you.’

Look up some common words you use every day in the thesaurus. Then, like slipping your feet into a new pair of shoes, slip your tongue into a few new words to see how they fit. If you like them, start making permanent replacements.

Remember, only fifty words make the difference between a rich, creative vocabulary and an average, middle-of-the-road one. Substitute a word a day for two months and you’ll be in the verbally elite.

Conclusion

I have only shared 10 Communication techniques, so if you feel that you learned something new and wanted to learn more then you should grab a copy of How to Talk To Anyone.

That was it from my side, I hope what I have written here helped you in one or another, now, I will see you very soon. Till then make sure you watch Rahul’s Videos on his YouTube Channel

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