The Give and Take book talks about three types of people Takers, Givers, and Matchers. Adam Grant says givers are those people who don’t expect anything, takers who want something while Matchers just want to match whatever they get.
The book will give you a clear idea of how you can live your life fearlessly.
Giver is not that easy but it frees you from expectation. So let’s see how you can live your life with full of freedom.
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Give and Take Summary
The book is filled with lots of wisdom and some of the wisdom might not feel good at all. Like, you should help others without expecting anything in return.
As the author says, if you have more than you need, simply share it with those who need it the most.
You have seen some actors who have billions and yet they’re promoting, Casino Websites and Tobacco. Their expectation will never be fulfilled no matter what happens.
Now, you don’t have to be like those people.
If someone needs help and if you can help them then don’t sit back and help those people because you can. While helping those people, don’t expect anything in return.
For example, if I help them with this, what will I get in return?
Don’t just say that, I can’t help them because I don’t know them.
The Give and Take also gives the same lesson, no matter who that person is, if you can help him/her then just do it.
Stay Away From These People
Takers are those people who don’t care about others, if they want something then they will come to you for help. They will promise something but they won’t give anything.
Always, stay away from takers. This is not only good for you but it’s better for your work, family, and friends.
I think you may have heard that it’s better to have one or two friends rather than having 100. So identify those people, and keep your distance.
How to identify the takers?
Taker usually uses the I & I words a lot while Givers normally uses the We & Us words. See the body language and you will understand, what kind of person he/she is.
World Operates Like This
Let me give you an example…
About 9 years ago, Rohit’s sister got married. Now we all know that people buy a gift when they go to marriage, so the same happened with this marriage as well.
Whoever visited the marriage, everyone came with a gift.
So when relatives were giving a gift, Rohit’s mother kept all the notes, who gave the gift, what was inside the gift wrap, how much money this or that person gave, and so on…
Because, when they attend a relative’s marriage, they will also give the same gifts, the same amount of money, or whatever relatives give during Rohit’s sister’s marriage, they will match it.
Of course, they won’t give them the same gifts but they will match it with a simpler gift with a simple price tag.
So that’s Rohit’s mother, she was Matcher.
Now, there is nothing wrong with a Matcher. This is how the world is operating but if you have enough to live a comfortable life then there is no harm in helping other people without expecting anything in return.
How to identify the Matchers?
They will always expect something in return, you will know from their body language. Now, if they don’t get something in return for the first time then won’t give you anything next time.
Be Like These People
These are those people who give without expecting anything in return.
For example, if your friend asks for money and if you’re a matcher then you will think for a second that if you give him money and if you ever need something in the future then he should help me out.
If you’re a Taker then you will simply say, bro, I don’t have money at this moment, if you had asked me yesterday, I would have given you the money. Still, I will ask around…
Now, if you’re Giver then you will simply say, how much do you need, here take it, if you need more then tell me, and don’t worry about giving it back.
Givers never expect anything in return, they come forward when someone needs help.
Identify Good People
It’s time to talk about the research that Adam Grant did…
When someone asks for help, you just have to answer these questions.
Why I’m helping this person: If you’re helping someone because it’s your job then you will get tired after some time but if you’re helping because the person you’re helping is important to you, you feel, he/she needs your help then help them without asking anything in return.
When do I have to help him/her: Don’t ever help someone by cutting your work. It could be your business work, office work, or something else that needs to be done.
So during that work, if someone comes to you and asks for help then you can simply say, I will help you after finishing this work.
Don’t help someone by ruining your life or work. If you have free time and if someone asks for help then do it.
To Whom You’re Helping: Takers are good liars, they will work for some time but after some time, they will show their true colors.
For example, if you hired, Rohit...
He was a great employee, he worked hard and you also promoted him but after some time, he wasn’t coming to the office on time.
He wasn’t even finishing the projects properly because he became the boss of a certain project and he had other employees who worked for him.
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But, you knew, he was just a liability to the company…
What you can do is, just give him a project and tell him, you can’t ask for help and that you will have to complete the project in 90 days. Now, his employee won’t help him because he was a**.
In short, hire very carefully because it’s hard to identify who is the giver or taker.
Give and Take Lessons
- Life is too short to hate someone, let go of your ego and free yourself from expectation. You will die one day, so it is better if you love others as you do it yourself.
- If you have enough money to live your life then it’s better if you help others without expecting anything in return.
- Don’t sell your Identity for money like many actors do when they promote unhealthy products.
- There is nothing wrong with being a matcher, just don’t harm someone for your own benefit. If you can’t help someone then you don’t have the right to harm someone as well.
Give and Take Quotes
“Above all, I want to demonstrate that success doesn’t have to come at someone else’s expense.”
“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.”
“You can’t just ignore someone because you don’t think they’re important enough.”
“The worst performers and the best performers are givers, takers, and matchers are more likely to land in the middle.”
“The more I help out, the more successful I become. But I measure success in what it has done for the people around me. That is the real accolade.”
“So if givers are most likely to land at the bottom of the success ladder, who’s at the top—takers or matchers? Neither. When I took another look at the data, I discovered a surprising pattern: It’s the givers again.”
“New research shows that advice seeking is a surprisingly effective strategy for exercising influence when we lack authority. In”
Give and Take Review
I will only say, do read this book, it will teach a lot about people and it will help you a lot in your business and life. It’s must read and everyone should read it.
Here I will leave you with,
“If you have more than you need, simply share it with those who need it the most.”
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