Read People Like a Book Summary, Notes, and Quotes

Read People Like a Book by Patrick King

Read People Like a Book is not only about how to spot body language or facial expressions, the author dives deeper into human psychology. By the end of the book, he will make you a living human lie detector.

Author says, People work harder to avoid pain than to get pleasure but it changes over time.

For example, let’s say, Patrick is a smoker. So whenever he feels like smoking a cigarette, he won’t think much about what smoking will do to him in coming years, for the time being he will only think about the craving he is having. 

The same goes for all kinds of addiction. Most of the time We humans only focus on what makes us feel good and that feel good things can be anything whether it’s smoking, drinking or masturbati*n. 

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The Book in Three Sentences

Read People Like a Book Summary
  • Most people choose pleasure over pain because they don’t want any sort of discomfort but sometimes, we have to say no to pleasure and see the bigger picture.
  • Average person can figure out who is lying and who is telling the truth by understanding the words people use, body language or facial expressions.
  • Every human is different from each other, so you have to be true to yourself and accept what you can and can’t do. Improve everyday and don’t be afraid to change. 

That’s the Read People Like a Book by Patrick King in Three Sentences but keep in mind, that’s not the whole book. 

Read People Like a Book Summary

There are books that will teach you how to understand and communicate better but Read People Like a Book also talks about the reason behind why we do the things the way we do.

The author tells you all the reasons why people fold hands, touch their nose, play with their fingers, adjust their legs, or even speak faster than usual. 

It’s a master class to understand human psychology and the most important part is, the author will teach you how you can identify which person is lying within the microseconds.

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For me, the biggest takeaway was “Emotions beats logic”. This means, we know that drinking alcohol is bad for health yet some people drink it all the time because that gives them instant dopamine. Maybe, we need to control our emotions and try to see the bigger picture. 

Now, let’s take a look at a few chapters from the book to understand yourself and people around you in simpletest way possible.

Motivation of NOW

Read People Like a Book Chapter 1

I love this quote from the book “Once we can look at another person’s shame, fear, doubt, and rage with acceptance and understanding, we can do the same for ourselves.”

It’s a simple thing right, just accept your fears and everything will be fine but it’s not as simple as it sounds because we have to accept it and acceptance is not that easy.

In the same way, Motivation requires when we’re in fear or doubt but if we just see things as they are and focus on what we have control over then everything will fade away and we will focus more on NOW rather than IF.

So rather than finding Motivation all the time, why not accept the reality and focus more on what you can and can’t do to make your life better.

Author also talks about pleasure, he says “Pleasure asserts that the human mind does everything it can to seek out pleasure and avoid pain.”

Simple example is, watching reels or tik tok rather than doing exercise or reading books.

Talking about myself, I always ask myself whether the things I’m doing will add value in my life or I’m doing it to make myself happy for the movement.

When you ask this kind of question, you will start seeing the reality and you will be more aware of yourself. 

Now, yes, pleasure won’t go away that easily but if you keep reminding yourself then the day will come and you will start doing the things that you need to do rather than want to do. 

Lastly, the author says “Over time, these ego-driven errors in thinking inform your entire belief system and give you rationalized justifications for almost everything.”

So just keep the ego aside because it won’t do any good. 

The first chapter will make you realize what you’re hiding from yourself and how you can understand other people better. It will make your relationship better with yourself and the people you spend time with.

Now, yes, I haven’t shared everything, so make sure you grab a copy of this book and understand your feelings and ask a few questions to yourself.

The Body Posture

Read People Like a Book Chapter 2

As Patrick King says “People can say whatever they like, but it has always been understood that factions speak louder than words, and that people’s facial expressions or body language can inadvertently reveal their deepest selves.”

Now, I can’t say everything that the author has written in this chapter because it’s the wrong thing to do but I will share one of the examples, so you can understand the value you will get from this.

Most of us know when a person is afraid of someone. For example, if that person is sitting on a chair then he will for sure lock his legs around the chair or he may freeze for a while.

This is a common thing that we all do but other than this, the author has shared what people do when they’re in fear, stressed, asked difficult questions, or don’t know what to say.

This will for sure help you when you meet a random person for the first time, or even when you go on your first date.

Now, as I have said, I will share one of the examples, so here you go.

  • Nervousness is typically behind things like tightening the lips or twitching the corners of the mouth very quickly toward the ear and back.
  • On the other hand, wringing and rubbing the hands are more likely to demonstrate a lack of feeling in control or doubt in one’s own abilities.
  • While, Happiness is seen in lifted cheeks, with the corners of the mouth raised up and back. Wrinkles appear under the eyes, between the upper lip and nose, and at the outside corner of the eyes.

These are just a few examples of how you can observe the people you’re talking to.

Talking about myself, I have read a book called, How to Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes. This too was all about human psychology, so for me, the second chapter wasn’t eye opening but for you, it might be different.

Mirror Yourself

Read People Like a Book Chapter 3

This chapter is mostly filled with science studies that talks about extrovert and introvert people along with why they behave the way they behave.

Author shares a theory called BIG FIVE researched in 1949 that talks about openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

This theory will give you a clear idea of the behaviors of people.

  • Openness to Experience: These kinds of people are open to anything, they’re not afraid of anything. They can immerse themselves in the new culture within days without any complaints.
  • Conscientiousness: These kinds of people think twice before doing anything, they will analyze everything before they move ahead with the plan.
  • Extroversion: These kinds of people are full of energy and they’re too open to do anything.
  • Agreeableness: These kinds of people love to help others and agree to do whatever others ask them to do, almost all the time.
  • Neuroticism: These kinds of people think too much about whatever they do, their anxiety level is alway high no matter what.

Now, tell me who you’re. Where do you see yourself? 

I’m more of a Conscientiousness and introvert. Sometimes, this is good but sometimes, not so good but at the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you.

Just putting it here, don’t take too much anxiety, sit back and zoom out. When you see everything from a third perspective, things do look simple and easy.

Become a Human Lie Detector

Read People Like a Book Chapter 4

I know, you’re reading this to learn how to catch people who are lying. The funny thing is, you first have to read the first three chapters to understand this chapter. Otherwise, you won’t become a 100% human lie detector.

Because you also have to learn body language or facial expressions which then leads to this chapter.

Now, to make it simple for you, here are a few things…

When a person is lying, he or she will for sure give you too much detailed information about the incident or they will try to buy time to make up the story.

For example, 

“Hey, someone ate my lunch from the fridge! Mike, did you eat my stuff?”

“Uh, what stuff is that?”

“You know, my lunch. I had it right here. I even had a Post-It note on it…”

“Yeah, well, people in this office can be sneaky

“You ate it, didn’t you?”

“Your lunch? Are you calling me a liar?”

“Well, did you?”

“Man, this is rich. I can’t believe you would actually suggest

And so on!

If the mike didn’t ate the lunch then he would have said “No, I didn’t ate your lunch” but no, he started asking questions…

You can also observe the way he speaks, the way he plays around with his body, the kind of words he uses and so on.

As I have said, you need to read chapter 1, 2, and 3 to understand chapter 4. Otherwise, it will be a bit hard to catch the lie.

Power of Your Eyes 

Read People Like a Book Chapter 5

This chapter is all about observation. If you’re planning to read this book then maybe you can skip this chapter because it’s sort of a repetition of what we already learned in the last four chapters.

Basically , the author says, keep a close eye on when a person is speaking, the kind of words they use, body language, and facial expressions.

For example, “I” statements could be showing where their focus really lies. Yet, interesting research by Pennebaker and colleagues found that depressed people use “I” more than non-depressed people,

The research further includes, 

In Donald Trump’s first State of the Union address, he used “I” 29 times and “we” only once. To compare, President Obama’s 2012 speech used “I” a whopping 88 times…but then he also used “we” ten times. What does it all mean? Well, depending on the reporter’s political affiliation, these observations could be used to arrive at several different conclusions.

So pay attention to what kind of words people use.

Read People Like a Book Quotes

If you happen to be called stupid by such a person, you know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

If you are having an argument with a partner, and they are angry and defensive, you may suddenly see their behavior much more clearly if you understand it as a scared child essentially throwing a tantrum.

Physical appearance can tell you a lot about a person’s feelings, motivations, and fears, even if they are actively trying to conceal them. In other words, the body doesn’t lie!

Anything that causes pleasure is felt by the brain the same way, whether it’s a tasty meal or a drug. An apt comparison, in fact, is a drug addict who will stop at nothing to get another taste of narcotics

The general principle is pretty obvious: bodies expand when they are comfortable, happy, or dominant. They contract when unhappy, fearful, or threatened. Bodies move toward what they like and away from what they don’t like. Leaning toward a person can show agreement, comfort, flirtation, ease, and interest. Likewise, crossing the arms, turning away, leaning back, and using tightly crossed legs as a barrier show a person’s unconscious attempt to get away from or protect themselves from something unwanted.

Humans are social creatures, and case studies have shown that living in isolation will literally cause insanity and mental instability, no matter how well-fed or secure you are.

Read People Like a Book Review

Read People Like a Book is for every single person who wants to understand human psychology. It’s simple yet it gives you everything you need to know about how and why humans behave the way they behave when they’re stressed, afraid, feared or when ego comes in-between.

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But, if you have read a few books on communication or self-help then you won’t find anything new just like myself.

If you’re a new-reader who wants to explore people then this is the only book you need to read.

Just in case, the Read People Like a Book by Patrick King has 167 pages while it was published on 10 December 2020.

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